Alright, lets talk sex. I know this is a touchy subject and some of you are blushing just reading this but sex is a topic that isn’t talked about and is ESSENTIAL to a marriage. Now first off there I think that there is two types of sex: Sex and LOVE MAKING. The difference is crucial. If you are making love then there is openness and communication between you and the other person as well as love and knowledge of each other and care. Without these things on both sides, things can get very careless and not both people are taken care of. Now what do I mean by “taken care of”? That’s a great question! There is a thing called the Sexual Response Cycle.
This shows the responses of a man and a woman and the differences in orgasm and plateaus. There is a comparison to explain this difference and how hard it is to get a girl going versus a boy. A man has 1 candle, it is easy to light 1 candle, but a woman has 200 candles but when you light all of them, she lit. This explains that it takes more effort and time to get a girl going and, in the mood, than a man. Now, did you know that the brain is the biggest sex hormone? It’s true! Part of this is related to how the people see each other, attractive or non-attractive. Things like a woman sees him holding a child a being gentle then this shows he will be gentle with her and can trust him or when he does things for her, it takes things off of her mind and allows her to put energy into other things, so she sees that he will help her. The brain is also part of the sexual response cycle with its chemicals called serotonin (pleasure hormone), Dopamine (thrill, OH YEAH), and for women oxytocin (bonding, feel close). The extra hormone that is released in women is the same one that is released during and after birth, so you can see why women get more attached and hurt when things don’t work out. Now it is important in the sexual part of relationship to be unselfish. This is an intentional act not an automatic. NEVER FOCUS ON ORGASM. It is about the bond you are strengthening not the pleasure feeling. You have to know each other intimately.
Another topic in the sexual category is self-pleasure. This is called masturbation. In this day in age people use pornography as a way to help themselves masturbate. Now do you think with all these brain chemistry hormone releases that it is healthy to watch porn or masturbate? The answer is no. Yes, I know they teach in health class that it is healthy but it isnt. If a man is watching pornography, then his partner could end up feeling like she has to compete with the people in the videos. She could feel that she has to fight for his attention. Pornography is the ANTI to love making She could then think that he is thinking about the girls on the video instead of her while they are having sex and then there is the factor of the man being attached to whom he is watching or even just his hand.. Its chemistry.
Lastly, I want to touch on is the negatives effect “sex” can have on people. The reason I put it in quotes is because in this part of it, it doesn’t even qualify as sex. First off there is the kind of sex that the man doesn’t care one bit about the girl and he just does what he needs to get off and then he is done. This can happen in and out of a relationship. I have personally been used in this way in a commited relationship. It is the worst! You think he cares about you and then he only takes care of himself. This is very damaging to someone. They feel worthless and powerless and even like a used up piece of garbage. That’s how felt and still feel from time to time. There are worse cases where a person can be sexually abused or raped and they can have those same feelings butthey may be intensified. I relate these things because although one is consented and one is by force but they can have similar outcomes of feelings. Consent can quickly turn into abuse and can hurt someone beyond your understanding. When someone is hurt in a sexual way, it leaves internal scares that can last forever.
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